….of a parent to a 3 years old, to be precise. Because really, I hope it gets better with time. Why an emotional storm? And that’s to put it mildly, let’s say : a storm within a monsoon period.
Young kids are very dynamic, and that dictates the rhythm of the daily life. Various activities and situations shift in rapid sequences, so does the emotional response. The demands to keep up with daily duties, responded by a tantrum, by a flat out refusal or by crying, are sometimes too much. Before you manage to process an emotion, you are overwhelmed by another one. When you finally persuaded your 3 years old with cold feet to put slippers on, and you feel relief and joy, you just found the result of her 5 minutes silence in the room : a cooking session with rice, quinoa and black pepper, which happened inside and outside a pot placed on her bed sheet. Meanwhile your own dinner is about to get burned on the cooker, which you find out too late.
You can laugh it off. You can just shake your head in disbelief. You can start taking action. But unless you are very much in control of your response to such situations, which I am not by the way, it affects you emotionally.
And not in a positive way.
When I tell these stories to a friend, we usually laugh at them. That is actually what it deserves. But that is not the usual response in that moment.
My example was just a light one. Put real issues into the mix, such as health concerns, time constraints, work demands, and you are on your way to a high blood pressure. I have described similar situation in one of my previous blogs – you experience an emotional storm when you need your child to take an important medicine on time, and the child refuses. It is anger. It is desperation. It is an absolute puzzle why would someone refuse something that is supposed to get her healthy. You degrade yourself based on this refusal as incapable. You start to project the impact if you do not succeed. You start to pressure yourself. Starting to look like too much, isn’t it?
How to deal with this? I tried many things, to be more organized, to prevent things, to control things. It does not work. You are just putting more stress on you, and the failures will come either way. I came to realization that the only aspect I have the ability to change, is my reaction on it, my emotional response.
How? Super hard.
There is a whole science out there to handle this with grace.
In simple terms, I think what works, is just to take a deep breath. And then another one. And few more.
Between the second and third breath, you can swear. Between third and fourth, you can imagine all possible punishments. Before you finish counting breath, you can promise to yourself what will be your compensation for this. But this dialogue needs to happen between you and yourself.
Because sincerly, saying it all out loud….